You should take your cues from your partner, not from documentaries or this sub, on whether your partner's views and actions are manipulative, brainwashy and damaging. I have been that crazy lady with four kids alone at everything, school events, home events, church events.
You won't know this until you do it and that is really important information to get before a marriage contract. Many Mormon girls place the cart before the horse.
If she doesn't care that you aren't a member now, if your relationship goes on long enough, she is going to care eventually.